One Week Post Treatment - The Challenge is over....or is it?

I finished all of my treatments on Friday 20th May.  Such elation to finally put it all behind me.  I already understood that there was more of the challenge to some.  You see, it is only when the burning stops, that the pain comes out.  Try it!.  Touch your skin with a hot clothes iron.  It doesn't hurt until you take the iron away and you see what you have done.

Now I am not complaining at all, but Radiotherapy is actually using radiation burning to kill of the deadlies that you don't want.  So it is inevitable that once the treatment ends, the burning will start to show and emerge.

The photo to the left shows what my neck looked like on Sunday afternoon - two days after treatment ended.  You can see the crusty skin and the burnt creases in my skin.  Now this just feel like rather bad sunburn and it doesn't hurt unless you touch it or move your neck too quickly, or stretch it.

So collared shirts are out.  They rub against it and if you look closely at the area around my neck, you can see where just a t-shirt can rip the burnt skin off.

I have a heap of curative things to put on it - Cetaphyl cream, Sorbolene etc., but I need to ensure that it stays moist and clean for the next few days because I really can't afford for this to become too raw and possibly get infected.


Solution, simple, keep it bandaged.  Lisa comes to the fore as a brilliant nurse here.  She applies Solugel to a gel impregnated gauze which is laid up against the burnt skin.  This is covered by a non stick pad that keeps everything "sterile", air free and moist.   Tis is all held in place by some stretchable gauze tubing that holds it all and allows a loose fitting bandage to cover everything.  The result is the handsome looking battle scar evident old geezer to the right.  God let me tell you how much I miss shaving.

Can't wait for everything to heal so that I can finally wet shave again. I suspended shaving on about 25th February once they told me that cuts to my face might not heal for weeks.

I need to attend to the neck dressings 4 times a day, which is not too bad, but it is not something you can do on your own.  You can try in a mirror but you would need to be far more mirror talented than me.  I am stuffed if I can move my hands in the right direction when I am looking in a mirror and trying to complete even the simplest of tasks.

The edges of the dressings dig right in to the sensitive skin and do result in some raw edges that bleed a little bit, but once they crust over they start to itch and the main challenge is not being tempted to scratch or pick at it.  I know enough to know that when the scale falls of the skin beneath will be healed, so I resist as much as I can hoping that the process will be accelerated.  The results of maintaining a good routine can be seen in the photo to the left.  The pink skin in the middle is where the healing has occurred over the red raw bits in the top photo, and the crusty scaling is the next "bit" to heal.

So I am excited with the great improvement in one week and am really now driven to maintain what I am doing in the hope that by the end of this coming week, I will be in a much better position.

It is important to know that the burning that is outside my neck, is also going on inside my throat, but despite all that, I am also seeing great signs that things are well and truly "improving".  I can now open my teeth wider than 2 cm.  I can actually touch the left hand inner cheek with my tongue.  Something that has not been possible for over a month now (due to the tongue burn) and I genuinely believe that some tastes are starting to return.  I had a piece of Porterhouse steak the other night and whilst it was slightly overcooked and not quite as rare and moist as I would have liked (which meant it was harder to chew), I am very happy that I could actually taste the steak.

So I am really happy with where I am and look forward to each 24 hour period as even minor improvements provide such positivity.  

The next challenge comes when I feel safe and comfortable to venture outside in to the cold (and the sun).  I do not want to get cold.  It takes a lot of energy to get warm.  Very much like sunburn, if direct sunlight hits my face I really know about it.   Once that eases, I can get out and start walking on the beach.  I don't want to do it later in the day because I don't want to get cold and I can't "rug up" because I don't want anything rubbing against my neck.

I have plenty of time, so I simply take slow small steps.  I will get there and the improvements over the last week prove that the me.  It took me 8 weeks to get where I am now.  I have 7 weeks to get back....  I still have some challenges to get through, but like everything up until now, they do have their "fun" bits.

Treatment over but not the side effects

What a sensational week.  Tuesday saw me have my final Cetuximab Dose.  This was a day made up very much of mixed emotions.  Obviously there was the emotional high of finally having finished. Twelve weeks earlier (February 8th) I was forced to consider my own mortality.  When they tell you you have cancer obviously you go through thoughts of death and doom.  This did happen to me, but thankfully only for a very short time.   I had heard that I had such an amazing prognosis, but I would be lying if I said that there was not a time when I thought to myself, how lucky I was that I had just escaped an end that I did not want to occur for me.

The sad emotions started when I gave my old mate Prof Dan a hug to thank him for all that he had done.  I had placed my healing success in this guys hands and he had not let me down.  He was there each week and was so supportive throughout the entire journey.   I am so incredibly thankful for all that he has done.  As I pull out of the hug, I am sure that he too has a small tear in his eye.  I sincerely hope that he has an idea of how grateful I am to him for all he has done.

The remainder of any sadness comes from the realisation that despite the fact that Cancer is a club, that I never want to have to re-join I am leaving behind some really important memories.  Memories of fear of the unknown, memories of the kind and wonderful people that you meet whilst in the chair, the memories of the fun times that you have had with the staff team, and the laughs that were shared with others who visited CDU.   These are truly special memories and will forever remain with me.

Now I do not want to move forward as a Cancer victim, for me once it is past , it is past, and the rest of my life starts.  I do not want to be labelled as a victim and truly hope that my future life puts it so far in the back of my mind BUT I do want to remember all of the great times I have had.

Ironically, I set out to overcome my fear of needles as one of the positive outcomes of this journey and despite every effort to assist with this my last cannulation was without doubt the worst. Everything was going along so excellently well (my wonderful nurse - sorry Laura) until Laura made such a simple statement - "just a slight scratch".  Now right up until than my entire brain was celebrating the fact that I was on the last dose, last day in the chair, last boost juice - such a great thought process, BUT, this one statement immediately focussed my mind on the fact that a needle was about to go in my arm.... AND IT HIT, my arm involuntarily tensed, the needle missed it's mark, my palms started to sweat, I started to hyperventilate as my heartbeat leaped, I was hot, sweaty, nauseous.  My finger tips were tingling.  I was really having a big panic attack.  Poor Laura was devo.  There was no pain, but she felt terrible.  We had to get it in and a few minutes later, with the help of Elise (Dietician), who had arrived just at the start, and who witnessed it all, and Lisa kept me joking and laughing and talking about the journey that the Cannula just went straight in without me even noticing.  LESSON TO SELF - It is a mind matter, learn ways to control what is going on in my mind and I will work out how to overcome the fear.

Now I am not sure whether it was the last treatment and I was just so thankful and relaxed (the huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders, but the dosing shoot up was a none event for me.  Truly, I slept through it all.  I dozed off very soon after it started and woke to find them preparing to remove the Cannula and send me off to RT.  I felt really sorry for Lisa, as I had left her sit there by herself for such a long time.  I am so lucky to have the wonderful woman as my life partner.  She is a real gem.

RT (Dose 32 of 35) comes and goes and it is getting exciting here as well.  I have noticed though that the burning is now starting to come out and the RT Therapists advise me that for up to 7 - 10 days after treatment the "burning" will continue to manifest, but as there are no more treatments to come, this is part of the healing process.

This photo really helps capture all that is going on in relation to my face.  The Yellow circle shows how the RT has killed off hair growth on my face.  It is only on one side at this stage but passes through my neck and makes sure that there is no hair on the opposite side of my head.

The Blue circle shows the burn.  This feels like extreme sunburn (which is what they tell you).  It blister and peels and just the slightest touch will immediately raise the sensitivity.   It looks shiny because I have "Solugel" on it just before I dress is with burn wound dressing.  You can se all of the blistering.  I have had to resort to wearing collarless shirts because I can't really have anything rubbing up against it, and shocked myself slightly this morning when, as instructed, I simply placed the towel on my neck, after my shower (the warm water on my neck felt awesome soothing the stinging, burning sensation) and waited for the water to soak in to the towel,  My shock came as I pulled the towel away and had quite a lot of my neck skin stuck to the towel.

But that is good, hopefully!   It means the dead skin has gone and opens the way for the new skin to come on and grow and heal my face.

The red oval is the remaining Cetuximab rash.  It is now just about all over my upper back (shoulders) and chest.  You can see it on my face as well.  Apart from being red, I have very few that are filled with gunk, and really cannot recall when I last had one with gunk in it.  This may be controlled by the tetracycline tablets that I am on, but it is a side effect with nothing other than visual effects.  People who don't know what I am going through would have no idea really.

I am now two days post treatment.  The fatigue is the worst lingering effect.  I really need to rest every 2 - 3 hours now.  We went out to dinner after treatment ended on Friday (I will post a separate blog about the final RT treatment - need to edit some video footage first).  We were all amazed at how quickly I crashed once I started to feel the fatigue.  I had been resting at home until 3:30pm.  It was 6:30pm and we were sitting eating when I started to feel the signs in my joints.  I could not get any relief from the aches in my shoulders, knees and my head was starting to pound.

15 minutes later, I am laying on the back seat of the car totally exhausted and sleet for the next 45 minutes scrunched up on the back seat of the car as we drive home.

I think that the next week to ten days will be extremely interesting.  The nurses tell me that it might take longer for my mouth to recover but I should see significant improvements towards the end of this upcoming week (SCORE) and I have been given permission from she who must be obeyed to start using the treadmill - no incline and low speed, to start seeing just how far I can walk without being stupid.   This will be an empowering time as I hopefully start to see improvements resulting from the healing process.  My goal know is to make sure that in a years time, I am fitter and healthier than I was in January of this year.

Time to strap myself in for some post treatment fun.  Stay good, Stay healthy and remember Enjoy your Life, you only get one chance!!!   All the best

What they do tell you about your treatment

Just a few picks to show the level of pain & discomfort in the mouth and throat at the moment.  The big pimply bit on the left hand side of the photo is an ulcer.  These are as painful as all shit and when they burst - they always burst and you can see that this one is about to.

The other point to notice is the redness of the gums at the teeth.  Now this pic was taken before I cleaned my teeth so excuse the plaque build up on the top back teeth.  I spend a lot of time with a babies tooth brush trying to get this off but at the end I have a gob full of blood from where the gums just let the blood come pouring out.

I don't mind the blood because it flushes out the bad shit.

You can also notice the rawness of the roof of the mouth.  Now I gotta tell you that not a thing that touches the roof of your mouth passes without some incredible sensation.   If it is cold water the coldness is magnified at least 5 times but the exciting thing happens when what you are eating contains something acidic or spicy.

On Friday night we were out for Dinner and I tried a mouthful of Lisa's meal to see if I could taste it.   Now she actually forgot to tell me that her meal had Chilli in it. I don't swear much but Holy F&%K.  I want you to imagine for one minute just what it felt like.  To give you an idea - boil your kettle, put the spout in your mouth and pour away.   There is nothing at all that can take away the pain.  Nothing other than what I now call mental toughness.   I had tears in my eyes, and needed to breath through my nose because I did not want to suck cold air in to my mouth to make it worse.

Talk about an adventure.  I recovered after a few minutes and thought to myself - best hold off on the Chilli this week!!!   Only five more days to experiment with what I can eat.  Gotta enjoy this challenge.

Overall though I am still ecstatic about where I am at.  I have had no pain killers today other than two panadol at 10:00am and I have had Poached eggs & Mushrooms for brekkie (along with an Up & Go), A Tuna Sandwich (no more bread as of today - that is way too rough), two tuna cheese and hummus wraps (might no sound nice to you but when you can't taste it you look for smoothness past the throat and the nutritional value of what hits your stomach).

I have also found Fuze Iced Tea which funnily enough actually has a great taste that also momentarily takes away the taste of the mucus and puss in your mouth (sorry - sounds awful I know but that is the reality.

Now, I want to talk about a serious topic -

THE TOP FIVE THINGS THEY DON'T EXAGGERATE WHEN THEY TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR CANCER TREATMENT 

- Counting down from 5 to 1 - here they go....

5. They do not over state how much they care for you.
I have been going to Peter Mac for nearly 10 weeks now and not once have I encountered a staff member who is anything less than wonderfully friendly, caring and warm.   I mean it, these people are sensational.  It makes no difference whether they are the Ward Clerks on Clinic A, the Phlebotomy technicians in the Blood Unit, the Admin Staff, Nurses, Volunteers, PSA's and the wonderful catering ladies in CDU, right through to the Admin staff, nurses and Radiotherapists in the dungeons of the Radiotherapy Treatment Clinics.   These people are sensational.  They meet literally thousands of people and yet they never seem to forget your name, and always appear to be interested in your journey and how you are feeling.  I witnessed an incident with a rather grumpy patient lashing out at a PSA because of delays in his treatment and his getting back to his ward, and I understand why he might feel like that, but I was so incredibly impressed with the way the RT staff member spoke positively and compassionately to the patient whilst ensuring him that the staff member could not be blamed for the delays and how unfair it was to treat the staffer the way the patient had.   It was wonderful to hear the patient apologise for his rudeness.   So if you are the CEO or COO of Peter Mac and you are reading this - be proud of your staff and acknowledge the truly wonderful job they do.

4. They do not exaggerate how sore your mouth will/can get
The previous photo's say everything I need to say here.  Every time I open my jaw (separating my teeth) I catch the back of my tongue on my molars.  Now this doesn't hurt much.  Try scraping the skin off your need and then just rub a scrubbing brush back and fro over it every few seconds, don't worry about the stuff seeping out of your knee (the blood and stuff, just lick that up and swallow it).  Know you have the idea of what it feels like.  Put the tip of your tongue between your front teeth and ask a good friend to give you an uppercut so that the tip of your tongue is cut by your teeth.  Now rub that inside the back of your teeth all the time, great fun hey!!!   Finally get someone to punch you in the cheek as hard as they can with your mouth closed.  When the skin shreds inside your cheek you are getting close.  Remember all three of these are combined.  Not just one type of pain at a time, but all together and never ending.  Pain relief helps for sure, and I am so very very thankful for the Panadol and Morphine based tablets but this only works if effectively manager - every four hours no more than 4 times a day is like 16 hours out of 24.   Sleep takes pain away.  If you get it right, you have relatively comfortable days.  I must be getting it mainly right because it is not the worst things I have to put up with.  

3. They do not exaggerate how much the loss of taste will effect you  
They tell you at the start of treatment that they do not know how much you will be effected by the loss of taste bud sensations. I think that having some age on me actually has helped here.  When I eat Mushroom, I am lucky enough to remember what Mushrooms taste like, so it could be phantom flavour that I experience, or it could be 40% of the flavour that I taste, but I have to say that very little that I eat now has any flavour.  Eggs and Chocolate Milk seem to be the only real stayers in the food fields.  Not Chocolate, but chocolate milk.  I theorise that it is perhaps the milk that tickles the tastebuds and allows the chockie flavour to sneak through.  Eggs are amazing.  Poached egg white is usually just a bland flavour but for the last 6 weeks they have been the flvour burst in my mouth.   I am looking forward to the next four weeks.  The Medico's tell me that once treatment stops things start to revert to normal (albeit slowly) so I am keen to see what flavour sensations return first and whether I will actually lose and tastes (I will volunteer to forego being able to taste cucumber as long as the flavour of prawns returns.   In addition to this think about your average meal.  Usually about 20 - 30 mouthfuls.  At about 10 seconds a mouthful about 5 - 10 minutes to eat a course of a meal.  Now when you have to find the pain free sweet spot in your mouth, and you need to chew so much that your food resembles a paste rather than solids, and this takes about 20 seconds unless you work your jaw faster than a hammer drill, then the average meal extends to 15 - 20 minutes.  By the end what you are eating is cold, but you need to keep eating.   The boredom of being the only person who is still slowly chowing down is possibly one of the key reasons people think - bugger this, I don't want to eat any more.   I have not let it get to me yet because I want to be healthy, but I can sure identify the problem.

2. They do not exaggerate how much the "fatigue" will debilitate you
I was in week three heading in to week four before I started to feel the effect of fatigue and had thought that it was a mythical side effect.  Honestly, I was almost half way through and was thinking to myself what is wrong with these people who claim they are fatigued.  If you have read any of my prior blogs you will realise how much this ridiculous belief has been altered in the past week or so.   I can manage about three (3) hours of activity now without too much concern, but then I start to get aches between the shoulder blades, a few moments later I will start to feel it behind my knee's.  From then I have about 15 minutes to start resting before all of my joints start to ache and my head starts to throb and I start to feel rather shitty.   If I lay down flat, I recover very quickly, if I try to just sit around it is ineffective.  Thankfully I always have Lisa willing to allow my head on to her lap if I lay down and the gentle stroking of my hair that she does is a sensational tonic that sees me dozing very quickly and providing me with that much needed 30 - 45 minutes of sleep to revitalise.  Fatigue can be managed but it is challenging.

1. They do not exaggerate how much the taste in your mouth will be "uncomfortable".
For me the worst thing that I have had to deal with it the taste in the mouth.  I met someone the other night who said he was in week two and he felt like he had been sucking batteries for a few days.  I am just so over the saltiness.  It is never ending.  There is no relief, no respite, nothing at all takes it away.  Sure you can get rid of it for a few brief seconds with Iced tea, mouth wash and milk but it comes back very quickly.  Add Morphine as a pain killer and I am 100% certain that the production of mucus intensifies and it feels like you are literally drinking salty syrup.  Syrupy because it is thicker than normal saliva.  I could spit it out in to a sup or glass but then everyone else in the house would need treatment for vomiting.  Oh well, dig deep, hang in there, not long to go now.  

I hope these help.  This is my perspective and I am going to close off by saying that on the last day of week 6 of treatment and nearly 4 months since diagnosis my level of discomfort on all five issues above are -

5. No issues, I love them all,
4. About 3/4 out of 10, but I will eat Fish and Veges for dinner and then resort to pain relief
3. I love fish and thankfully believe that I still taste about 20-30% so this is a 2/10
2. I have rested all day and feel great.  I could not walk 5km nor could I wash my car, but I am quite relaxed and will most likely hit the pain free snooze zone at about 10:00pm.
1. This is the worst - I am gonna say 4 - 5 out of 10.  Only because nothing seems to be working today, lemonade - not enough, ice blocks, not enough, water - nothing at all - actually makes it worse. Going to try soda water and raspberry cordial see what happens.

Oh the fun.....

Overdue Catch up - My Bad!!!

They say that a week is a long time in politics, but let me tell you it is not a long time for a Cancer Treatment patient (or perhaps it is not for this Cancer Treatment patient).

I have had several people contact me outside of the blog (including my sister) seeing if I was okay because I had not posted anything for over a week.

This is how a usual treatment week plays out - Monday - RT, not much to talk about; Tuesday - Clinic,Chemo and RT - a busy and tiring day; Wednesday - RT again not much and usually when I do my blog (but not this week); Thursday - usually crappy day two days post Chemo and RT; Friday - RT and the weekend to rest and recover.

So what happened this week - HONESTLY, I stuffed myself.  Friday 6th was a quick RT treatment and it was time to get home and watch the ARL Test between Australia and New Zealand (well done Oz).

Saturday I was at home on my own for a fair bit of time whilst the girls "did their thing".  Not that I felt neglected, I will come back to how I filled Saturday and Sunday a bit later.   Saturday afternoon I probably pushed a bit too far by heading over and helping a mate reconstruct a Home Gym I had sold him.   The medical guru's at the Hospital tell me that pushing weights for the next few months was probably not in my best interest, so in order to tidy life up it was time to let it go.

I think I need to digress here for a bit and explain the biggest outcome for the week.  Everyone tells you that experiencing what I am going through can result in a changed perspective on life.  Well how freakin true is that.  I have actually had two death/near death experiences in my life.  I was technically dead for a few short minutes when I was electrocuted (515V) when I was working for a chook takeaway whilst at Uni in Townsville.  This changed my life tremendously, and I grew up from their knowing that material things were totally irrelevant in life and the only important things were the experiences we had and shared with other.

Many years later I thought I was destined to be decapitated by the hooves of a Steer (Cow) that ran out in front of my 4WD when I was travelling at 105km/hour.  The Steer came out of the long roadside grass very late at night, in the pitch black, no street lighting, about 5m in front of the Nissan Patrol.  There was no chance to do anything other than brace for the pain.  The Steer flipped up on to the bonnet of the car and I watched as the hooves swung up and over in an arc that should have seen them come straight through the windscreen and smash my head in.   I remember thinking - I love you Lisa but this is where it ends for me........

Now I have no idea, who or what happened next, and I am happy to believe that there is a God because the next thing I know the car rears up very severely at the back - so much so that the the wheels came off the ground and I fleeting thought the car was going to go end over end.   The steer slides off the bonnet and bugger me if the Patrol doesn't drive right over the top of it.  Something intervened and it most definitely changed the course of events that night.

I have said before that I believe everything happens for a reason, and both these events gave me reasons to review my life and what was important.  Anyone that knows me will understand that changes in my/our life occurred shortly after these two events.  In the first instance, I grew up a bit and started to focus on what I was going to do with my life and left the irresponsibility of being under 21 behind and started focusing on a career, the second event resulted in my reviewing where we were with Lisa, and where we wanted to be, and implementing change to achieve our goals.

Now this Cancer has had the same effect.  Life is short, we cannot simply waste time marching to the hum drum beat.   Are we happy to simply trudge along the same path every day?  NOT THIS BLOKE, NO WAY.  THANKFULLY NOT MY WIFE EITHER.

We (Lisa and I) took stock of where we were, what was most important to us, and where we wanted to be.  Of course it was difficult.  There is so much to consider, but in a moment of liberation and not without great consideration, and most definitely not by any means a rash decision, we decided that it was time for me to resign from my job.  We had already planned to leave in June 2017 as the time had come to return to Queensland, but it was a matter of what benefit existed for us to consider staying for the extra 6 months.  When time and life are precious, you need to eliminate wasted time.  For us it was a simple question - in my role what benefit did I get from staying on, compared to the benefits of moving on.   SIMPLE DECISION.   December 9, 2016, sees Lisa and I pack our belongings and head home.  The two girls may/will stay but we are heading off.

Now back to the week - the decision that was made on the Friday, left me doing a lot of preliminary planning (it is only 6 months away and there is a lot to do).  This was the focus of my (our) attention for the remainder of the weekend.

When I overdid it helping Ben with the Gym, there was not much left of Saturday as I came home and simply went to bed shortly after.  Sunday was spent together thinking and planning about what was needed in the next 6 months.

Monday was only RT, but I was already planning for a monster week - Wednesday was going to be big and I needed to see how well I could manage myself to get through.  Wednesday was the round of Annual General Meetings at the school, and I was needed.  I had planned to work from 2:00pm to 8:00pm. This was going to be difficult but I could get through it (or at least I thought).

Tuesday was Chemo and RT and never ending great news.  I am now constantly reflecting on just how lucky I have been throughout this journey, in terms of how I present, how much pain I am in and my general mood in dealing with what I am experiencing.  I found out on Tuesday that medically I was well in the top 5% of patients in terms of lack of aggressive and invasive side effects.   What sensational news to hear when you are almost done.

Despite being tired when I get home after a 10 1/2 hour day at the Hospital I feel fine and climb in to bed early to get good sleep to make sure I am ready for Big Wednesday.   I had arranged with the Radiotherapists to postpone my Wednesday treatment until Saturday and thought that I had it all under control

The nurses tell you all the way through treatment - listen to your body, don't try to be a hero and push too hard, rest, rest and then rest.  I hear it, I understand it, BUT I IGNORE IT on Wednesday.  I did what had to be done.  I did lay down for 20 minutes at 5:15pm in order to recharge and I did feel okay at 7:45pm.   I actually felt okay at 8:00pm BUT THAT WAS IT.

I paid the price on Thursday, I was totally and absolutely stuffed and could do nothing but stay in bed all day.   I look on the bright side - I achieved everything that was needed, and having only had two (2) shithouse days out of 42, I felt that this was okay.   When I went to RT on Thursday every person at Peter Mac knew just by looking at me, that I was struggling to get through Thursday.  But I had inflicted it upon myself and I was gonna get myself through.  Friday was another day.

BUT IT SLOWED DOWN MY BLOG.  I just couldn't give a bugger about thinking about what to say.  I have been given extra time to think about what happened during the week and will learn from this I am sure.

Friday and today were great.  Lisa & I decided to stay in a Hotel in the Melbourne CBD, this would saw us over 4 hours of unnecessary travel  for the weekend.  It was also very special to be able to stroll through Fitzroy Gardens with the most important person in my life, back to the room and then simply chill together.  No need to sit in the car for over an hour and feel tot's uncomfortable, getting home at gone 8:00pm and then jumping back in the car before 8:00am Saturday to be in the City for treatment at 10:00am.

I got over 9 hours of sleep Friday night and woke today feeling brilliant.  So good that we went for a two hour cruise down the Yarra (helped by the fact that the weather was great).   I am not allowed to be in the sun because of the RT basically sunburning my face - even the slightest direct sun really can be felt, so it was fantastic to get a nice shady seat on the boat so that we could enjoy the spirit lifting experience of being on the water and enjoying the "fresh" air that is supplied in the middle of a sprawling metropolis of 4 million people.  Despite this slight cynicism, it was very enjoyable.

I am now comfortably resting at home now feeling really fine, but knowing that sleep for the night is not far away.  I got through, even though some medico's might think I was stupid and irresponsible. For me however it was the need to take responsibility that drove me to do what I did.  When you have responsibilities, it is important that you step up to meet them.  I feel happy that this is what I achieved.

Another post tomorrow but for now it is time to rest.....

Thanks for reading

Hair Loss & Milestones & The Mouth

I am now at 15 days to go until all treatment is over.  Today is dose 24 of RT and two days ago (Tuesday) was the 6th Chemo dose.  The past week has bought some very interesting changes.  I was alarmed on Monday when I thought that I had lost quite a bit of weight.  According to my calculations I had lost over 3 kilos over the Friday - Monday weekend.

This obviously had me worried because I feel like I have been eating heaps and eating things I would not normally eat.   I am still mouth eating and am having more than three meals a day so it was unsettling to think that despite all this I was losing weight.