They say that a week is a long time in politics, but let me tell you it is not a long time for a Cancer Treatment patient (or perhaps it is not for this Cancer Treatment patient).
I have had several people contact me outside of the blog (including my sister) seeing if I was okay because I had not posted anything for over a week.
This is how a usual treatment week plays out - Monday - RT, not much to talk about; Tuesday - Clinic,Chemo and RT - a busy and tiring day; Wednesday - RT again not much and usually when I do my blog (but not this week); Thursday - usually crappy day two days post Chemo and RT; Friday - RT and the weekend to rest and recover.
So what happened this week - HONESTLY, I stuffed myself. Friday 6th was a quick RT treatment and it was time to get home and watch the ARL Test between Australia and New Zealand (well done Oz).
Saturday I was at home on my own for a fair bit of time whilst the girls "did their thing". Not that I felt neglected, I will come back to how I filled Saturday and Sunday a bit later. Saturday afternoon I probably pushed a bit too far by heading over and helping a mate reconstruct a Home Gym I had sold him. The medical guru's at the Hospital tell me that pushing weights for the next few months was probably not in my best interest, so in order to tidy life up it was time to let it go.
I think I need to digress here for a bit and explain the biggest outcome for the week. Everyone tells you that experiencing what I am going through can result in a changed perspective on life. Well how freakin true is that. I have actually had two death/near death experiences in my life. I was technically dead for a few short minutes when I was electrocuted (515V) when I was working for a chook takeaway whilst at Uni in Townsville. This changed my life tremendously, and I grew up from their knowing that material things were totally irrelevant in life and the only important things were the experiences we had and shared with other.
Many years later I thought I was destined to be decapitated by the hooves of a Steer (Cow) that ran out in front of my 4WD when I was travelling at 105km/hour. The Steer came out of the long roadside grass very late at night, in the pitch black, no street lighting, about 5m in front of the Nissan Patrol. There was no chance to do anything other than brace for the pain. The Steer flipped up on to the bonnet of the car and I watched as the hooves swung up and over in an arc that should have seen them come straight through the windscreen and smash my head in. I remember thinking - I love you Lisa but this is where it ends for me........
Now I have no idea, who or what happened next, and I am happy to believe that there is a God because the next thing I know the car rears up very severely at the back - so much so that the the wheels came off the ground and I fleeting thought the car was going to go end over end. The steer slides off the bonnet and bugger me if the Patrol doesn't drive right over the top of it. Something intervened and it most definitely changed the course of events that night.
I have said before that I believe everything happens for a reason, and both these events gave me reasons to review my life and what was important. Anyone that knows me will understand that changes in my/our life occurred shortly after these two events. In the first instance, I grew up a bit and started to focus on what I was going to do with my life and left the irresponsibility of being under 21 behind and started focusing on a career, the second event resulted in my reviewing where we were with Lisa, and where we wanted to be, and implementing change to achieve our goals.
Now this Cancer has had the same effect. Life is short, we cannot simply waste time marching to the hum drum beat. Are we happy to simply trudge along the same path every day? NOT THIS BLOKE, NO WAY. THANKFULLY NOT MY WIFE EITHER.
We (Lisa and I) took stock of where we were, what was most important to us, and where we wanted to be. Of course it was difficult. There is so much to consider, but in a moment of liberation and not without great consideration, and most definitely not by any means a rash decision, we decided that it was time for me to resign from my job. We had already planned to leave in June 2017 as the time had come to return to Queensland, but it was a matter of what benefit existed for us to consider staying for the extra 6 months. When time and life are precious, you need to eliminate wasted time. For us it was a simple question - in my role what benefit did I get from staying on, compared to the benefits of moving on. SIMPLE DECISION. December 9, 2016, sees Lisa and I pack our belongings and head home. The two girls may/will stay but we are heading off.
Now back to the week - the decision that was made on the Friday, left me doing a lot of preliminary planning (it is only 6 months away and there is a lot to do). This was the focus of my (our) attention for the remainder of the weekend.
When I overdid it helping Ben with the Gym, there was not much left of Saturday as I came home and simply went to bed shortly after. Sunday was spent together thinking and planning about what was needed in the next 6 months.
Monday was only RT, but I was already planning for a monster week - Wednesday was going to be big and I needed to see how well I could manage myself to get through. Wednesday was the round of Annual General Meetings at the school, and I was needed. I had planned to work from 2:00pm to 8:00pm. This was going to be difficult but I could get through it (or at least I thought).
Tuesday was Chemo and RT and never ending great news. I am now constantly reflecting on just how lucky I have been throughout this journey, in terms of how I present, how much pain I am in and my general mood in dealing with what I am experiencing. I found out on Tuesday that medically I was well in the top 5% of patients in terms of lack of aggressive and invasive side effects. What sensational news to hear when you are almost done.
Despite being tired when I get home after a 10 1/2 hour day at the Hospital I feel fine and climb in to bed early to get good sleep to make sure I am ready for Big Wednesday. I had arranged with the Radiotherapists to postpone my Wednesday treatment until Saturday and thought that I had it all under control
The nurses tell you all the way through treatment - listen to your body, don't try to be a hero and push too hard, rest, rest and then rest. I hear it, I understand it, BUT I IGNORE IT on Wednesday. I did what had to be done. I did lay down for 20 minutes at 5:15pm in order to recharge and I did feel okay at 7:45pm. I actually felt okay at 8:00pm BUT THAT WAS IT.
I paid the price on Thursday, I was totally and absolutely stuffed and could do nothing but stay in bed all day. I look on the bright side - I achieved everything that was needed, and having only had two (2) shithouse days out of 42, I felt that this was okay. When I went to RT on Thursday every person at Peter Mac knew just by looking at me, that I was struggling to get through Thursday. But I had inflicted it upon myself and I was gonna get myself through. Friday was another day.
BUT IT SLOWED DOWN MY BLOG. I just couldn't give a bugger about thinking about what to say. I have been given extra time to think about what happened during the week and will learn from this I am sure.
Friday and today were great. Lisa & I decided to stay in a Hotel in the Melbourne CBD, this would saw us over 4 hours of unnecessary travel for the weekend. It was also very special to be able to stroll through Fitzroy Gardens with the most important person in my life, back to the room and then simply chill together. No need to sit in the car for over an hour and feel tot's uncomfortable, getting home at gone 8:00pm and then jumping back in the car before 8:00am Saturday to be in the City for treatment at 10:00am.
I got over 9 hours of sleep Friday night and woke today feeling brilliant. So good that we went for a two hour cruise down the Yarra (helped by the fact that the weather was great). I am not allowed to be in the sun because of the RT basically sunburning my face - even the slightest direct sun really can be felt, so it was fantastic to get a nice shady seat on the boat so that we could enjoy the spirit lifting experience of being on the water and enjoying the "fresh" air that is supplied in the middle of a sprawling metropolis of 4 million people. Despite this slight cynicism, it was very enjoyable.
I am now comfortably resting at home now feeling really fine, but knowing that sleep for the night is not far away. I got through, even though some medico's might think I was stupid and irresponsible. For me however it was the need to take responsibility that drove me to do what I did. When you have responsibilities, it is important that you step up to meet them. I feel happy that this is what I achieved.
Another post tomorrow but for now it is time to rest.....
Thanks for reading
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