Anticipation

Twelve more hours to go until the next challenge.

Nerves starting to rise slightly.

It will be nice to finally get a clear understanding of what I am dealing with. I go in tomorrow not knowing whether it is just a biopsy or a removal.

I have never been in hospital for any surgical reason and so it is true that there is a rather significant amount of anxiety.  I am not scared at all but having never experienced anything like this, it is anxiety about what to expect.

This whole Cancer scare is not something that really effects me.  I mean there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.  Like old mate Forrest Gump said - Life is like a box of Chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.

For me the biggest worry is the pressure it puts on those close to me.

There really is a lot to be learnt from this journey. The anxiety that everyone has to deal with on my behalf is unfair and I wish I could take all that away.

For me tomorrow is easy ONCE they start. I will be out to it but Lisa (my wife) and Jayde (one of my amazing daughters) have to play the waiting game.

Obviously the longer it goes the greater their worries.

Fingers and toes crossed for a great outcome cos I want to go to Adelaide for the weekend......  Take care...

Tests, Tests & More Tests

Every person has a phobia, a fear that consumes them when they are faced with their worst nightmare - for me it is a bloody hypodermic needles. I have had more needles in the past 3 weeks than I have had in the last 30 years. I am beginning to know what a pin cushion feels like!

My "adventure" started on Australia Day 2016. After finding the lump and getting in to see the Doc immediately,  No need for an appointment. Obviously this caused some concern because no one ever gets to see a doctors straight away.

The Doctor arranges for me to undertake blood tests that afternoon. (Yikes)

The next morning I am off for an Ultrasound. Then more blood tests (why do they need more) and then an "Aspirational Biopsy" where they insert a needle in to the lump on my neck and suck out whatever is in the lump. OMG that was really enjoyable - I was a freaking wreck but seeing the orange crap in the vial thingy was impressive.

Discovery

So here is the story so far .....

I am a bit of a "routine" person, basically performing the same functions as part of a ritual each morning.  This includes how I wake and get ready for work every morning.  I am sure that we all have out rituals/routines, they are what allow us to operate on cruise control some mornings.   This morning was one of those mornings - it was the day after Australia Day - Tuesday 27th January 2016 to be precise.   Having enjoyed a great long weekend I was in the shower having my normal, every morning shave when I felt an unusual lump on the right side of my throat - not a big lump ... just something that shouldn't be there. Sound familiar???

I check with my wife, who thinks we should keep an eye on it for the day and see if it the onset of a sore throat.  When it is still there on Wednesday 28th we head to the Doc's in the arvo and find out that I cannot have an appointment until Saturday 31st.   The receptionist/nurse asks me what it is about to which I respond "This lump on my neck"; "Does it hurt?" she asks.  I advise her that it is not painful at all. "Wait here" she says and goes in to the Doctors office.  Upon returning a few seconds later I am advised that the doctor will see me in a few short minutes.

At this stage my anxieties start to rise - is it what I think? Is it that bad that I get to see a doctor straight away?  Oh well, shit happens, absolutely nothing I can do now but hang on and wait and see.

After a few very rapidly arranged tests and a blur of appointments over the next few days it turns out to be the secondary cancer in my lymph node connected to the primary cancer of my tonsils. Yep I was one of those lucky kids who did not have to have their tonsils out.

So, it appears that I am about to undertake a once (hopefully) in an lifetime adventure. 

A bit like a Roller Coaster ride I hope. There will be scary bits, fun bits, nerve wrecking bits but it will come to an end. I don't expect that you will want to join me on the adventure, but as several friends have said to me - thought you might want to hear about it.

So, I plan to share my journey in this space, to allow those who are interested to travel the distance with me. 

I need to advise right at the start that I was immediately reassured by the treating head and Neck surgeon that my prognosis is excellent. I am lucky to have caught it very early,  I am in great physical shape for my age (54) and have already been told that I have a great positive attitude towards what lies ahead (taking inspiration from amazing people like Aron Ralston and Michael Crossland - look them up on Google).

Thankfully it is not all morbid and doom and gloom. Just a bit of pain and discomfort which I will embrace with a usual mix of arrogance, ignorance, stubbornness and aggression.

I am aiming to keep this as humorous and uplifting as possible whilst using this space to capture my thoughts and feelings about what the next 6 months will bring....

Stay tuned, and to each of you go my very best wishes. Have a ripsnorter of a day!