Hitting the wall!

Friday 29th was a bitch of a day.  No joke, I felt the sickness.

One of the requirements of cancer treatment is the need to drink lots of water.  I have been vigilant in making sure that I consume at least 3 litres of water each day.  This is not an easy feat when everything liquid other than chocolate milk tastes salty but I persevere because I want a speedy recovery post treatment.

Now for every litre that you drink, I am sure that you urinate 1.1 litres because I feel I am always standing in front of the dunny draining my bladder.

Friday morning was no different - except - it happened way too frickin early.   I have no real idea what time I was woken with that pressing need to go an pee.  As soon as I got out of bed and opened my mouth the PAIN (note the capitals) hit.  OMFG it was like someone had tipped hot molten steel in my mouth.  The ulcers must have stuck to the side of my tongue and as they came apart it really was searing pain.

Early morning tears

Tuesday 26th April was my fourth twin treatment day.  My 5th dose of Cetuximab and my 17th dose of Radiation Therapy.  I am still amazed that I am now half way through and am still not "suffering" from any side effects other than 30% discomfort in the mouth due to the ulceration.

I was totally exhausted after finishing the day yesterday.  We head off at 8:30 am to drop our youngest at her workplace before heading to Woollies to buy some chocolates to share with all the wonderful staff at Peter Mac who have helped me get this far, with so much genuine care.

Tilting the Scales

This last four days since the last Chemo treatment has been rather interesting.  After treatment on Tuesday I felt awesome and was really pleased that several major milestones had passed.  The week saw me hit 4 out of 7 Chemo treatments - over half way there.  I was also looking forward to hitting 15 out of 35 RT treatments and therefore being over 40% of the way through.

I thought it was going to be a good week.  Not sure I got that right!.  Now, don't for one minute think I am unhappy and/or depressed but there have been a few shitty things that have tilted the scales slightly in terms of crappiness.

I may have contributed slightly to the slight downturn.  On Wednesday, we had a big day at School.  As the CFO and Company Secretary I take a great responsibility for the conduct of School Board meetings.  What that usually means is a 12+ hour day each day there is a Board Meeting.   This one was no different.  After arriving at 8:30 am, I work for the day until 3:30pm and then head over for treatment.  After treatment I head back to school arriving just before 6:00pm, happy to have arrived in sufficient time to prepare for the meeting.

It is here that things start to slide.  As has been happening over the past three weeks, it appears that the minute I "rest" after treatment, the body takes over and says "That is it big fella - time to stop for the day".   So I really start to go down hill in terms of fatigue relatively quickly.

Here is the biggest mistake I have made so far in this treatment journey - I dug in hard, pushed through and stubbornly insisted to all for the next 2 1/2 hours that I was fine and was coping trying to record minutes and act normal, when my body and head was telling me - GO TO FRICKIN SLEEP.

Stubbornness? Grit? Stupidity?  I have the benefit of hindsight to tell you now that it was a combination of all three.

Knocking over the domino's

Off and racing today. I can see the halfway mark clearly ahead of me. I am hitting great milestones this week over 50% through Cetux and scream past 40% RT later this week.  Too cool.  And still pain free!!!

So the day goes like this -  

1. Medical Oncology Clinic 9:30am - 9:45am

2. Brekkie

3. Chemo Day Unit 11:00 am - 3:10pm

4. Dietician 3:20pm - 4:00pm

5. Radiotherapy Planning Clinic 4:00pm to 4:20pm

6. RT Treatment 12/35

Yoda, Rusty & Coach Carter - my life guides

Over the past few weeks I have been extremely humbled by the number of people who have commented about how inspirational and positive I am.   I find this hard to accept because I just consider myself to just be a normal Aussie bloke.  Nothing special, just your everyday true blooded ocker Aussie.

I am indeed extremely proud to be Australian and have been ever since we arrived from England all those many many years ago.   For my gift of being Australian I thank my Mum & Dad for having the sheer guts and resilience to pack up and head to the other side of the world, leaving family and a support network behind.

But it is very humbling to have people that you have known for quite a while, and people whom you have only just met tell you that you are an inspiration.  In my last session of Radiation Therapy last week I was almost moved to tears when my amazing radiotherapists (Anita, Nicola and Suzanne (Note to self, make sure you check those names)) actually told me that I was an inspiration and I brightened up their days.   These people are taking great care of me and it is challenging to be told that you are a person that inspires others.

TTTT - Two Treatment Tuesday Two

This blog is a bit late because yesterday was a bugger.  Not that I am going to ever complain but 10 hours at a hospital is a bugger for anyone.  The day had been changed up to try to consolidate my Friday clinic day in to a Tuesday Clinic day so that we could actually cover more in the same day.   I was stoked that they wanted to do this because it gave me back some extra time of not having to spend two part days at the hospital with each other day only having an RT treatment later in the afternoon.

A couple of sub chapters here -

1. Chemo Oncology - great rash results & solutions
2. Cetux Delay - Hand massage - Birthday Girl
3. RT results boost.
4. Cetux finally
5. RT 20%

Week 2 Begins

The next five days will see me pass some great milestones in terms of the overall journey.  By the end of Tuesday I will be 7 from 35 RT treatments or 20% of the way through.  I will also be at 3 from 7 for the Chemo treatments or over 42% through.

These are small but significant benchmarks that I believe are just going to make the journey easier.  Focussing on 33, 32, 31, 30 more to go is like being a kid waiting for Christmas.  It seems like it is gonna take forever.  Realising that you are 1/5th of the way through is just so much easier.

I had a couple of interesting things happen this weekend.